Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
