HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize