I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
