she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
