wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
