No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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