I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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