I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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