I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
