after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
