Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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