omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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