He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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