"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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