yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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