thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again