He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
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Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?