Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize