My brain says no but my pants say off.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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