and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize