just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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