Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
