Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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