you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize