guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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