The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize