Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
