I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
