I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
