There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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