i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
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We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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