Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
