we made out on top of his cat.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
