Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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