I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
