I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
don't judge my taste in strippers
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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