If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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