All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
