if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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