I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
