i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
