are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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