I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
