Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize