first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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