I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
