Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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