Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
