Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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