It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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