something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
