Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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