he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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