I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
