thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
