Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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