So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
