I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
