I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize