That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When did angry sex become our thing?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
